Anxiety for me usually is because of my struggle with low self esteem and emotional abuse I was subjected by my father. Psychologically it has left a stamp of many things like how I feel about men and being into a relationship.  The feeling of apprehension that makes me becomes nervous suddenly.  

Even though I want to heal, I still struggle more with fear, depression, panic, and of course anxiety. And suffering from either is unbelievably difficult because nobody knows how you feel and what you’re feeling.

I wake up every morning and hope for a superb and great day, then along the way, anxiety comes to snatch it all away from me and slows my progress. 

The feeling can drain every bit of you, you experience your personal dark days, and the life force and energy in you gets drained over and over again. You hope tomorrow will get better, but sometimes, it doesn’t and this unbearable cycle continues.

And whenever you find yourself in such state of mind, all you can do is to wish and desire and want to get better.

A lot of tips to help you feel better online- some you’ve tried while some you reluctantly ignore because YOU’RE TIRED!

The best way to cope and manage anxiety is to avoid your anxiety trigger till it gradually dies off. Constantly practicing of self-care routine or keeping a morning routine can sure make your feel good but just for the moment. The lasting effect of it is to stop and avoid whatever that triggers anxiety in you.

But what if you’re emotionally scarred? Then the best way is to heal is with TIME while you must stay off all these;

1. Stop Your Excessive Use of Social Media

Social media have an ugly way of sharpening us into what we don’t want to be like and making us accept it.

My addiction to social media was pure out of loneliness- I love it, I spend my entire day chatting and comparing each time I scroll down past any perfect image. I never realized when it started changing me into becoming like what I see on Facebook and Instagram. I became aggressive especially after seeing some of my friends with a picture-perfect family, reminded me of what I was lacking, next thing, I feel self-pity and tears start rolling.

Deactivating my Facebook and Instagram was a tough option I chose to prioritize my sanity.  Right now I don’t need to be reminded of what I don’t have rather I want to see what I have as a blessing and find a way to make the best out of it.

OK, I’m not telling you to do the same but if you feel uneasy whenever you scroll through your Facebook and Instagram, then you need to stop. You shouldn’t allow yourself to feel that way because you don’t deserve it.

At this stage you want to stop being nervous, overcome fear and doubt. So, if the media is stirring up anxiety, STOP WATCHING IT!

Or maybe you read the comments from people on social media post and become agitated and overwhelmed with all the haters that are in the world.

Then you need to stop.

Permit yourself and allow yourself to enjoy some time to breathe from everything-digitally.

2. Stop Beating Yourself Up

I often hear my daddy call my mum ‘LAZY’ because she’s depressed and fighting her unseen demons. She’ll lock the doors, curled up in bed and I just stayed there while I peep. She hated herself for not having the energy to do the things that she loved to do, she blamed herself for not having to through college , not being a lot of other things. Days after day, the weight of hatred and guilt triples in her. And she the anxiety never stopped.

Until she realized that anxiety is a load she needs to offload.

The point is that, you need to stop beating yourself up for not being able to get out of bed or for not having the energy to clean your house. You need to forgive all those who call you lazy; they won’t stop because they don’t know what you’re feeling.

You didn’t choose to be in this situation, so stop blaming yourself for feeling this way. Give yourself some love for choosing to stay alive every day – that takes a great deal of courage.

3. Stop Worrying too Much

Whenever you set a worry trap, I’ll definitely fall into it

Anxiety can make you think and worry about everything even the tiniest and insignificant things, till it becomes an unhealthy obsession and trick you too panic.

Most times I see the bad in people before I see the good. I analyze every word I hear, whisper, and glance, to find fault and begin to worry about it.  Give yourself a break and don’t question other people’s intentions and mull over facts that may never have happened.

Because you’ll strain your mental health till you’re left empty . So, stop spending your days thinking about the things that you can’t control, it’ll ruin your happiness!

Ignore it and enjoy your day. Because worrying will not change the situation; it will only make you rob your happiness and make you feel worst.

4. Stop Complaining

Its a bad habit to complain – it makes you appear mean, and ungrateful.

If you always find yourself complaining of one thing or the other, you easily get angry.

Complaining about something doesn’t make things nor change any event that might have taken place. But, rather be thankful and replace all those complaints with the feeling of gratitude.

When everything around you seem to turn you into a nag- pause and examine yourself to recognize even the smallest things that make you happy. And in that moment you WIN!

I’m not saying you shouldn’t vent, but if it puts you in a dark place after it all, then you shouldn’t.

Whenever I feel like I’m slipping into a very dark mood- I pick up a pen and a paper and write down my anger and fears and once I’m done I tear out the page and burn it.

The lesser you complain, the more positively energized you become. And that’s enough to get you through whatever dark place Anxiety might want to throw you in.

5. Stop Having Too Much Downtime

Always find something doing. Whenever your mind doesn’t have anything to focus on, you’re bored, it’ll start dwelling on things that you fear or are unsure about.

You allow yourself think and wander about things that might not happen- and suddenly a great feeling of fear and panic starts building up.

What did you expect? You’ve allowed your mind to wander down a path that leads to anxiety and fear.

The best way is to be occupied. Everyday set a task for yourself and gradually accomplish it, so you don’t allow yourself sit around and over thinking things.

You just have to decide and pick it on after the other. You don’t master it all at once but by practice, you perfect. And when you miss a step- Remember not to beat yourself up, you’re still a work in progress.

Remind yourself why you started and don’t give up no matter what, If I can do it, I know you can too!

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